Image courtesy of: Profiles98
A lot has happened this year, and we're only one month in.
A few weeks ago I thought it would only be appropriate to discuss my New Year's resolution like everyone else. But then the universe got the best of me, and it never happened. I've actually been having a tough time deciding what aspects of my life deserve a little TLC.
Then I lost my job two weeks ago but I'm not going to elaborate further. Why? The less time I focus on what happened, the more time I can dedication my emotions and effort into moving forward and upward. It has given me the opportunity to do a lot of self-reflection. And you know what? Everything is going to be just fine.
My aspirations have changed. My needs at 22, are not the same at age 25. Change is good. Change is ok. I saw the above billboard in New Orleans, compliments of Cleo Wade, earlier this month, and it is resonating hard with me lately.
My resolution for 2015 was to write more. I did that. Actually, I kicked ass at it.
Last March, Woodrow and I attended the 9th Annual First Descents Ball (You can read more about FD and this year's event HERE). At one point in the program we were all given a postcard that said 'This Year I Plan To...", told to fill it out, and later that year it would be mailed back to us. I received mine not too long ago and was pleasantly surprised...
"Live fully without regret"
I'm fortunate enough to have never experienced loss, something I can't say for many others. My brother survived Leukemia, my mother defeated breast cancer, my boyfriend has kicked Osteosarcoma in the ass eight fucking times.
But then, we went to Ecuador. We met Paco and Harina. Quickly bonded by our lack of Spanish/Portuguese and their dominance of English. In a week's time we left as friends. We left knowing we'd get to see Paco again in Puerto Vallarta and Harina in São Paulo. But then we lost Paco in September. Then Harina in October. Just like that. Gone.
And so, that is when I became consciously aware that the life I was living was not the life I imagined for myself. Paco and Harina had so much life ahead of them. And so do I. At 25, things are pretty damn good, but I need to stop putting myself last and stop hanging on to things that don't make me better and actively pursue an intentional life.
So this year, that is my resolution. I'm taking bigger risks. Stuff that makes me say "This is awesome, but I'm definitely terrified". Things that make my parents hair turn grey (sorry mom + dad).
For starters, Woody and I are heading off on a European adventure this May! But not before we jaunt off to Mexico in April, and also celebrate the nuptials of our friends in Lexington. We'll be spending 4-5 weeks backpacking our way around Germany, Italy, Spain, France, and maybe a few other places too. Who knows. We'll figure it out. I cannot WAIT.
I can't wait to talk more about that. Soon :)
With all these changes, I've been reading more and it's forcing me to evaluate myself in ways that are hard to swallow. But if you can't be honest with yourself, how can you ever be better?
"Growth ain't for weenies, but it's no where near as painful as living the life you're living right now if you're not really going for it. If you want to take control of your life and turn it into something spectacular, you stop at nothing." - You are a Badass, by Jen Sincero
I'm off to go be a #girlboss now, one day at a time.